Journal Entry: Fri May 3, 2013, 10:09 PM
I'm rarely on this site, I hardly upload anything and the majority of my gallery is in storage because I just can't stand to look at most of it anymore lol
So I guess my question is, what do I do about all of this? Sometimes I feel like just closing down my account here and just focus on my tumblr blogs (there's a lot of them), and other times I miss how active I used to be here. What do I do to get motivated to be a part of the DA community again? What sort of stuff would you guys even want to see out of me if I were to return as a regular here? Or should I just retire from DA completely and focus on Ask Bugs on tumblr?
I'm very indecisive about all of this. I fell...I dunno...old? I enjoyed drawing a lot as a kid and a young adult, but the older I get, the less I care about it. I feel sort of like my mom a lot of the time. She was an AMAZING artist in her youth. She could draw portraits, paint, sculpt, and she's a kickass seamstress. As she got older, she got distracted with life and stopped art altogether (though she still sews). I always thought what a shame it was that she stopped doing those things because she was amazing at it. What a waste it was. But now that I'm getting older, I find myself becoming detached from art, and the only thing that drives to me to draw ANYTHING, is the Ask Bugs tumblr (which is very limiting) and drawing things as gifts for family members. But when it comes to free time drawing, I'd rather fill my time with any other activity. I see so many young people with a passion for art on here and tumblr, and they want careers out of it, and I think that's great, but I've always known, despite my love for drawing and painting, being an artist was never for me. It was always just a hobby that I never took seriously. I don't care to grow with it, I don't have a passion for it, and I don't want to do it for a living.
So what do I do? Do I stay here and post random things that I already post on tumblr every few months? What other things could I possibly do that people would even want to see out of me? Or do I just let this part of me go and focus on other things like my mom did? I'm really at a loss here.
This journal came off a lot sadder than I intended. I'm by no means sad about any of this, I just really don't know what to do with myself about it.
Listening to: Get Lucky - Daft Punk
Reading: God No - Penn Jillette
Watching: Justice League: Unlimited
Eating: Honey Chipotle Chicken